Men’s Sacred Sexuality Teachings – What it is to be a ‘Real’ Man, by Leigh Tolson

It is my pleasure to help organise a workshop for men only on men’s Sacred Sexuality teachings. This is much needed if men and women are to live in harmony in these challenging times. Leigh Tolson is an experienced teacher who has agreed to come to Ilkley at the end of June to let men feel “what it is to be a real man”. He is a healer and a facilitator who works straight from the heart. A qualified Tantra and 5 Rhythms teacher with over 30 years experience in the field of movement, meditation, tantra, psychotherapy and men’s work. He teaches tantra training internationally and is currently studying Biodynamic Cranio-Sacral at the Karuna Institute. Here is what Leigh has to say about it…

What it is to be a real man

“This is a really exciting time for men to be alive. Conventional masculine role models are outdated and have little to offer those intent on uncovering the truth of life’s deeper mystery. The door is now open for a revision of what it is to be a ‘real’ man, what it is to truly love a woman and what it is to fulfil our higher purpose in life. A man’s ability to know and manifest his mission is intimately connected to his sexuality and the ability to express his libido. Love-making should be one of the most profoundly beautiful and deeply pleasurable things of life. Yet most men in todays society have so little real education in the art of loving and are under constant pressure to perform and satisfy.

The key for men and the challenge they face is to embody a healthy relationship to the feminine. How to be deeply at ease in open-hearted surrender with the women in their lives and their own inner feminine. This is vital if a man is to become a gifted sacred lover. When men are able to respect and confidently open women and the world to Love, they are able to ignite the spark of polarity and set alight the holy fire of union. You see we are made to be natural lovers. It is not some complicated thing we have to learn. In fact, more than anything, it is an unlearning that is required. A letting go of all of the things we have seen and heard and been told; all the conditioning that we have picked up from our parents, from school, society and our peers. The way of the sacred lover is becoming aware of one’s ego patterns and healing these defences so that we no longer sabotage love. Much can be achieved by taking a dive into the realm of the body. By coming home to the somatic landscape of our inner world we heal the wounds of love and regain trust.

It is very important for men to heal the shame with which we are all living. Then men can better learn to be both more masculine, demonstrative and direct in their purpose and passion, whilst also becoming more sensitive and in touch with their receptive and feminine qualities. You see a man needs both. It is the integration that makes the skilful master lover. He needs to remain present and fearless in the face of a woman’s crazy wild emotions. She tests her man to find out if he is trustworthy and has the strength to hold her. Then once she opens, her need is for a man who is sensitive enough to tune into her subtle and ever-changing desire for contact. This is not something you can learn with the head, rather it is a whole body, whole being skill. The man needs to learn to embody a wider range of energies. To know all the colours of love and be able to play in all of them. By integrating body, heart, mind and spirit men become better lovers, for themselves and for their partners.

Ancient cultures never lost their reverence and esoteric understanding of sexuality. This is why Taoist and Tantric techniques and energy methods are so useful for westerners in improving their love skills. This brings us to the inevitable subject of semen conservation. It is not about retaining semen as a rule, it is just that it is good to be able to choose when and if you want to end a love meeting. If a man is not able to stay with his woman until she is truly satisfied the relationship will not be so easy. After all it is called ‘making love’ but many modern relationships have forgotten the restorative and vitally important part that a loving sex life plays. It energises, restores and maintains our connection with Love.

Every man likes to feel like a king. Money and power can never buy love. Being a masterful lover is one of the most pleasurable and fulfilling ways of being. Really it is very simple; being able to embody one’s inherent freedom and spacious luminosity and share this with the world. To have the wisdom to stop, do nothing and let the beautiful bird of Grace alight within you. It is the Art of Love.”

If you’d like to find out more about this unique workshop in Ilkley on 25th and 26th June 2011, contact me, Kalyani on 07952 036 326, or kalyani.ma.mukti@gmail.com

In love and Light,

Kalyani

The power of touch

Our culture has brought us to loose the sense of touch, even more now that the internet is so prevalent.

Think about it… How often do you spend a whole day without touching another human being? I’m not thinking about any intimate contact here, just a simple hand shake or hand contact, or a hug for instance. So yes, when was the last time you consciously touched another person, and was touched in your heart in return?

Instead the days go by with us safeguarding our personal space. We build invisible armours that protect us, and they are so effective that we disconnect from others. We function, we talk, we even laugh, but we do not receive the nourishment that only touch brings.

As a child, do you remember holding hands with a parent or relative, and feeling completely accepted, cared for and loved simply through this contact? How does it feel when any soreness has been “rubbed better”? Have you ever seen on tv or through your travels how much other cultures use touch, from the youngest age when little babies receive gentle massage from their mothers and relatives, to the elderly being held as they move around? Do you recall the contentment that radiates from these people, however poor they seem compared to the material wealth we have access to? For me a day with no touch counts as an empty day.

Energetically a secondary heart chakra can be found in the palms of the hands. That’s why touch conveys so many emotions. Through your touch you share your emotional identity at the time, and receiving one’s touch you unconsciously perceive theirs. Expand this idea, and you realise that you literally carry your heart in your hands. How magical! Love does not need any words or justifications, it just exists through our touch, naturally.

Receiving touch you also become more alive physically. Your body’s many receptors pick up all the stimuli and make you feel that you exist in the form world. You may well have issues about your physical appearance, but if you open to the love and acceptance that others give you through their touch, it can often be a dramatic step on starting to accept who you are, and even taking measures towards who you want to become.

Yes you do take risks of not liking what you touch when you go towards others. Yet you also open yourself to the possibility of experiencing beauty. At least you’ll know what fulfills you, and you don’t have to touch for long if it’s not pleasant!

So next time you are with your friends, ask them to share a hug. Let yourself be surprised by the new level of connection you can have with them through this simple gesture. You might even discover that you had this longing for touch all along. And touch given with an open heart without any judgement is a tremendous healing tool. So we can all be healers.

Go, touch, experience, grow and share this powerful truth.

Yours, in Love, Light and gentle Touch always,

Kalyani Ma Mukti